Women & Their Obsession With Shiny and Sparkly

So this is going to be my standing question for the moment. 

Why, oh WHY! 

Do women have this horrible magnetic attraction to "Shiny things" 

Yes, the things that Sparkle.. Doesn't really matter what it is as long as it freaking sparkles or is shiny. They go nuts over this stuff.. Most do anyhow. This has become an obsession that has driven men to the ends of what we should be known as an endangered species. Well, at least when something shiny is about. Not only is it dangerous but was can see through time how these things have progressed into an illness.

Some examples.

In The 70's into the 80's it was the, oh so awesome gotta have it Pokemon! Every girls awesome who has it! No. Not the oven bake.

THE Bedazzler!!

But we don't get to just stop there...
Oh no. Women need more Shines. MORE SHINY OR HULK WOMAN SMASH!

Think this shuts them up?

For a moment. Until, yep you guessed it. The need arises for more shines. These have long roots though from needing to pour virgin blood on themselves to make shiny skin. .. ... Yes murdering to use the blood to make something shiny, to the oh so noble shiny knight in armor coming to save the day.

But this obsession has now become main stream. It's not just glitter, shiny rings, knights in shiny armor. No this trend has moved into "screw the armor we can have shiny MEN"

Yes, instead of looking at blood sucking monster vampires as a freak horror show on skates they've gone as far to change them into sexual object. "Interview With A Vampire" Yet just simple men like Brad Pitt, Antonio Benderes and Tom Cruise (Who later went insane due to his inability to please the large crowds of flocking women to his sexual vampire character) All got one upped. By what you say? A god vampire? A superhero vampire?

No.. Nay...

A emo vampire. The swoon of hordes of teenage girl obsessions. Sorry Brad, Tom and Antonio. Unfortunately for you guys, this one sparkles.

The sparkly emo above this is probably also the number one reason that women do the following.

This was most likely from the generated fantasies of women having intercourse with a sparkling vampire who got a little messy at the end.

Sorry Jacob, you got buff but unless your werewolf hair gets a bedazzle you're just out of luck. We won't even get into the Twilight sparkle creme, yes it exists google it.

This trend has gone on for a long while now, remember the Myspace make everything puke in your face trend because it sparkles and is shiny! Still this continues.

So what can we say that we should have learned by now guys about this obsession? When living in a perfect calm world in our own little lives and we wish to embrace one of these creatures called women.There's a good chance over all, that if it sparkles she'll murder Mame run you over along with the entire planet just to get her shiny.

Little Mickey Learns A Lesson On Life

>:)

Dear my loved and cherished Son,

We no longer require your services do to the recession and we are currently downsizing in your department. We specifically have come to notice that your chore salary is an expenditure in which we can no longer sustain. We are very sorry and thank you for your effort in that area. If you would so could kindly hand over your chore sheet to Jose Melendez the little boy next door who has agreed to do the same amount of work a year for a one time food allowance it would be appreciated.

We would also like to regretfully inform you, since most of your teachers have been laid off of their jobs and this may cause you to most likey be spending more time at home; we are unable to support your current living arrangment in the locatioin of your bedroom. We will need you to vacate that immediately so that we may rent that space out. Not all is at a loss though. We have agreed to allow you the use of the hall linen closet as your new home with proper rent and deposit.

Unfortunately we will be in need for your rent and deposit of said linen closet. However seeing that you have no prior rental history or employment at this present time we will have to deny any application you submit to our household. Since you will be leaving the household we have decided to give you a parting gift of ten dollars for your tenth birthday. We wish you luck in your endeavours.

Respectfully and with love,

Dad & Mom

PS: I apologize for the loss of the cat you loved so much. Since you have not been paying on its shelter or food we took it back and used it as payment to cover your yearly chores.

Ok, trying these things again.

I'm still getting used to the styling of these pages so be patient with me while I get things updated etc around here. I've now come to hate Livejournal in full. Yes I made a livejournal. No I'm not keeping it. At least on here you can have whatever type of links/Banner/Main header you wish to have instead of .. Oh you want a header? A cool little title...? No problem.. Just pay us! :(

This is just my first posting. Thanks for dropping by. By the way if you have a gmail account or google account you can add yourself to my friends list or what not, or so it seems *Squinty darty eyes* More to come later!


-Gx

Dont forget!